Thought for 2016
Every month I write this newsletter about something I learned or experienced during the month. The reason I write this letter to people like you, is to share what I have learned. As you all know, I have committed my life to helping people to be successful through coaching, strategy, accountability and motivation. Because of this, people tend to assume that I have everything under control or that nothing gets me down.
Obviously that is not true. I think the important part is that I have developed the mind-set to get out of bad moments faster than most people. That is not that I am better; it is just that I focus most of my energy in my lifetime on success and motivation in order to be in the right mind-set.
But we get times in our lives when we feel lost and ask the question, am I doing the best I can do? And am I focusing on the right things? A big challenge that most people face and I am no exception, is the guilt of work and family. Often you are just working and going after a goal to be successful so you can provide more for your family. What about your health?
While you’re rushing and trying to meet all your commitments and doing everything for everyone else, you are forgetting the person that gets all this done and that is you. I think many people go through stages like this in their life. It may seem to the world that you are in control, but in your heart you know things are not at their best. Or the big question, is this my best? Most people go through that on their milestone birthdays: 20, 30, 40, 50, 60.
This newsletter that you are reading now should have been out in August and I have had the letter to send out, but just didn’t send it. In September I turn 40. I am happy and excited and so grateful for my life, all I have achieved and the love I have in my life. But then I ask myself, why is this newsletter not out in August? And why have I again put on 9kg? Why am I not feeling that I am the best husband and father right now? How many of us just carry on each day doing what is required from us, but not at the level that is needed.
As the owner of the newsletter I can get away with it. I can say it is just 9kg; I will lose it later – but I may be saying this while eating a packet of M&Ms. I can say I am a good father and husband and my family loves me as I am. But the truth is, being good is not good enough. We are born to be great; we need to be our best. I can guarantee everyone reading this letter that, if you are honest with yourself, we all find ourselves in challenging situations at different time in our lives.
I don’t know where you are right now in your life and what you’re going through. But what I do know, life will not always be great, because that means we as people can never grow. In order to live an outstanding life, you need to find yourself in challenging moments, where you don’t know the answers and you don’t know how things will work out and you don’t know if you will get where you want to go. It is scary to be in these stages of life. But the irony is that these are the most important and powerful times of your life, because change is about to take place.
Just A Thought
Remember this: you are born with greatness, and your failures and successes don’t define who you are. Your failures do not make you worse, and your successes do not make you better. They just are failures and successes that define your journey. You have been blessed to be here right now and that is what it is. When things are not what you want them to be, know that something is happening. You cannot stop change. Change is going to happen whether you like it or not. But what you can do, and what you need to do, is direct change towards your outstanding life. Most people, when they find themselves in a difficult position, worry about the future and focus on what they don’t have.
They seek quick solutions or they try to cover it up with instant gratification. That can be things like medication, alcohol and eating. My way is eating. I know when my weight is going up, I don’t have my house in order and I need to work on what is going on. Some people argue with people they love, in order not to take responsibility and find blame in others. Some people blame their situation and circumstances, “it is because of this and that that my life is like this”.
Start listening to the words you use. The words you use impact your mind-set. The only way you get back on track when you find yourself in these situations is to focus on the invisible, as the invisible always controls the visible. The invisible is far more powerful that the visible. What I mean by that is things like love, purpose, meaning, vision. The Bible says without a vision you will perish. A vision is made from your purpose. Your purpose comes from who you are and what your identity is. Who you are is great, and you have something amazing to offer the world. So when you realise your greatness and find your purpose and develop a vision from that, you find your true north principles.
All that has happened in your life when you find yourself in tough situations, is that you have lost you way. This means you now need to find and develop new ways to live. The old way will no longer work for you, as you need to grow. If you are not growing, you are dying. There are no mistakes; everything you have done has led you to today. It does not matter what your current situation is, just embrace it and understand that it does not define you.
When you get to that understanding, you will find peace and clarity. In that peace and clarity you will find your way back. Love yourself and forgive yourself, because only with love and gratitude in your heart will you find yourself.
Live an outstanding life, knowing that you are born with Greatness.